This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
