North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You're like the curious george of whores
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
