I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize