All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
