what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
