So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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