He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize