all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
