i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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