I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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