I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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