I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
