Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
