There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
