I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
