I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
