i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
