Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
