I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
there is glitter all over my balls
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
