oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
