am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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