But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
