I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
