I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
