update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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