apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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