I must be too annoying 4 u.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
