ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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