i can't believe i had my finger in that
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Come share oat with me in your robe
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
