he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
did you just send me my own nude
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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