I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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