So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think people are normalizing furries
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