you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize
