mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
