Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
