I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
