oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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