let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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