Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
