One girl and one boy is just not enough.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
