its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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