I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
