god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
