i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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