in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
