i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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