An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
