but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
