You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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