No stitches, just platelets and will power
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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