I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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