I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
