dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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