oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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