super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
