trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
