Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
