i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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