He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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