I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
