new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
